If I Were A Gift...

If I were a gift, this is what I’d be: a gift card to your favorite place.

I am exactly what you like. I am how and when you like it. I am this exact thing because all too often you do not do nice things for yourself.

I know this, and so, I want to be this for you: the gift and the giver of it. I want to be the person who gives you a gift so specific that you know you are supported to be the unique human being that you are, trusted to give herself what she needs. 

I want you to remember that you, glorious you, are JUST AS IMPORTANT as all those you care for. 

And, to me, JUST AS and a handful more.

Who would I give this to? I know her when I see her. 

She doesn’t see herself for how she is, but I can tell you she’s kind. She’s sweet. And scared. Scared for others. And, she’s, as the kids would say: exhausted AF. 

I know her because I was her.

I’ve been learning, post cancer, to fight for a life I can survive.

It’s not normal, this way.

This type of life often requires the seeker to have experienced natural disasters, existential threat, or maybe a close call with death.

We who “got the t-shirt” don’t need to wear it because we see each other. We also can recognize the next wave of folks clinging for dear life to a life that doesn’t cling back. 

It’s the clinging I see. It’s in her eyes. I hope that she can release one hand to accept the gift card, but you never know.

“But she might not use it, “ you say.

I know.

“But it might get lost,” you say with a little more urgency.

I know that, too.

I didn’t use mine until I needed to cash in all my chips, and then poof. 

There it was. A gift I didn’t know I’d need. 

_________________

A note about this mini essay:

I love the Communal Pen work offered by the SC Arts Commission with Facilitator Eboni Ramm. Last night, we gathered virtually for a lovely holiday workshop, and this writing was the result of the work.

Writing in short spurts and sharing in groups is so rewarding, whether I am participating in them or leading them.

I'm grateful for this community, and look forward to more in 2023.

If you would like to write back to me what YOU would be if you were a gift, and who you'd be given to, I'd love to read it.

May your days be MERRY and BRIGHT!

Shannon