Quit SMACKING yourself! 3 FLEX moves to invite the new.Jan 11, 2023
"I don't know if you work on XYZ, but..."
I LOVE THIS QUESTION.
My answer: is it change? Then, I work on it with you!
Hiiiiiiiii there, it's your MIDLIFE MIDWIFE and resident COACH reminding you that asking for help from the right folks is a FLEX.
GOOD LAWD DO I LOVE A FLEX.
What I don't love is FLAX. lol just kidding
I am fine with flax.
What I don't love, and for today, the word for the opposite of a FLEX move is a SMACK.
What's a SMACK?
A smack is when a person is dealing with change, and they unintentionally enlist "help" that hurts them. SMACK.
We humans are habitual creatures, and even in moments where we know we need to do new things to get new outcomes, we choose the comfort of the familiar.
It's really easy to do unless you're clear on your needs and intentions.
And who is clear when they are reeling from change??
SMACKS can be unintentional, just like choosing to stay in the comfort of the familiar.
A SMACK looks like going through a divorce and asking the opinion of someone who doesn't believe in divorce.
A SMACK could look like asking for help or the opinion of someone who doesn't want the change to happen.
Humans don't like to be uncomfortable, so when given a choice, we more often than not choose the known commodity.
So we repeat things. We stay stuck and cozy.
But if you're the one clear on the need for a change, then these SMACKS hurt!
Let's stop inviting the SMACK DOWN and go whole hog on FLEX MOVES!
3 FLEX MOVES I recommend:
1. Choose your change partners well.
Maybe I'm one for you.
I am trained to be (and naturally built this way) an excellent change partner. In fact, I do it for a living.
2. Choosing healthy discomfort.
This could be as simple as taking a different route when walking your dog. But you are making choices to do new things, and this helps develop your discomfort resilience.
3. Prioritize rest.
In times of change, everything can feel urgent, but that's just a normal response that your nervous system is sending you (remember the body mind doesn't like discomfort). Find times in every day to mindfully stop "working" on the new and restore yourself.
These are practices we learn working together that you will use for the rest of your life.
How we can work together:
I'm making offers to folks this week to join my February start 6 or 12 month 1:1/hybrid coaching program.
So far, they've ALL SAID YES. YES to themselves one year from now who is grinning about the decision to do the thing.
Chat soon about you?
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